Friday, January 25, 2008

riddle me this

seriously, someone explain this shit to me: how can the south produce some of the most socially disgusting human beings that have walked this planet, and yet somehow also produce dudes whose southern aphorisms sound like divine scripture?

i give you exhibit a for my argument, taken from the onion av club:

"AVC: Lou, what made you decide you were done with acting?

LP: My political beliefs. My spiritual beliefs. It's all trash. And Chuck Norris, I'd flush that cocksucker down the toilet. What a pussy motherfucker. What a fucking cunt.

SCD: You rolling tape on this?

AVC: Yep.

LP: He's a pussy! Fuck Chuck Norris. I regret being in any of that goddamn Walker, Texas Ranger shit. Motherfucker couldn't act his way out of a rubber. Jesus, he's fucking terrible. People buy that as a Texas Ranger? A guy that's 5'5"? For God's fucking sake. And so much of it is just tawdry. Part of it, too, is my depressive mentality, and being frustrated. I thought I had plenty to offer. I went through the grandiosity of believing I was really good—and I was good at times.

SCD: Were and still are, Lou."